Leadership Lessons from my father

Abba(Dad) and Ema(Mom)

Fatherhood is the highest calling of leadership. Good fathers are good leaders. How do I know? I am lucky and blessed to have someone like that in my life.

Abba as we call him, (Father in Hebrew) is an extraordinary person I look up to and have made a positive impact in my whole life. 

Abba is one of the most important people in my life that I value and continue to thank God who blessed me with being his son.

Abba taught me several leadership lessons throughout out his life and continues to do so as a great father/leader to his family.

Here are some of the lessons I always reflect on his greatness and gifts:

Life and Family is about giving

Abba has taught me the most important quality of being a leader. A good father/leader has a servant heart that comes from serving people and help them succeed-wanting the best for others. Abba is a selfless leader that really would do whatever it takes to give all he has so that we would be the best we can be in life. He has an attitude that says: “How can I serve my family and my children in their best interests?”

Open Mind and Open Heart

Abba taught and continues to teach we need to stay open to possibilities and listen intently to what’s in our heart. Where do we make a positive difference in the lives of other people besides ourselves? Do we take care of other people by staying open with their challenges and continue to give open-hearted support throughout challenging times.

Continue to seek feedback and learn from it

Abba has taught me another critical leadership lesson that we should never forget as we develop our potential-Being open to receiving feedback and learning from it makes you a better, stronger person in life. Abba taught me we can only improve if we take time to reflect as everything in our life is a teacher.

Everything we encounter is a moment of teaching to learn about who we are and what we can become. But if we dismiss people and their feedback, we are not learning. My life has changed because of the attitude Abba shared with me to take in reflection of the learning journey as we need to respect other people thoughts and feelings.

Never give up on anybody in your family

Abba gave me another great example on how to accept people in our family with unconditional love and kindness. This is a spiritual leadership quality that is Godsend.

all families face challenges and opportunities as no one gave us instructions on how to deal with. But God gave my parents the biggest unconditional loving heart that conquers all the difficulties and moments of learning in our family. 

That’s what leadership is about-love and caring unconditionally the people that mean the most in your life. The day you become a leader is the day you are willing to sacrifice your ego for someone’s heart.

Thank you Abba for the lessons in life and hoping to learn more from you for more and more years to come. I love you always forever. God bless you.

The three A’s of Leadership-The keys that open us

Leadership is experienced differently by each of us. But leadership is always expressed in relational terms as we begin to widen the circle of leadership around us for future generations. 

We begin to build those leadership relationships by working on adding positive values as we engage to learn more about each other’s unique contributions. As leaders, each one of us brings an exceptional set of values to enhance our dialogue and meaningful leadership discussions.  

Relational thinking is the spiritual discipline through which we begin to see ourselves in relations to others, as part of the whole, not apart from it. Relational Leadership requires us simultaneously to observe the three A’s of leadership. The three A’s are not extras. They are important characteristics of relational leadership:

The Three A's of Leadership are:

Attunement

Attunement is mirrored through attentiveness from one person to another. Attentiveness means thoughtfulness by noticing and hearing the words, spirits, and experiences of other people. As we experience authentic attention-we truly feel who we are on a deeper level and understand what others trying to communicate and feel. 

It’s our way of validating the feedback and thoughts of others through empathic leadership.  When we stay attuned, it creates a zone of trust and safety around us. We feel encouraged to look for instead of waiting for someone to create trust. We let others feel safe in our leadership environment that we constantly trying to build as an environment of trust.

Acceptance

Acceptance in relational leadership is determined by unconditional caring. In acceptance, we are embracing people as worthy, empowered, understood and fully approved of who they are as unique individuals. We give kind support for other people’s path no matter how you view the situation at that moment.  

Acceptance is another component of creating the trust zone in our relations. We hold and suspend our judgments toward other people in order to help them feel safer in our environments. We want to help people feel more of what they are, so that they can realize their true potential without destructive feedback that only demoralizes a person.

Appreciation

Appreciation elevates acceptance with gratitude. In appreciation, we communicate with admiration the qualities in each other without any reward. The reward is the joy of the energy that comes from your open heart. Appreciation includes gratitude of kindness and a gift we give to others out of no motive but a sense of appreciating our relationships. 

When we appreciate, we have the ability to extend ourselves and become better leaders and better people.  Appreciation gets so under-utilized in our culture because we tend to focus on what’s not working instead of what’s working right and how we can uplift the “right” toward an empowering vision for the future.

What other values you want to share as part of the dialogue on relational leadership? Looking forward to learning from you.

Are you creating an authentic dialogue?

One of the essentials of authentic leadership is the power of authentic dialogue. 

Authentic dialogue begin to happens when the leader value the web of relationships in any environment. 

Authentic leaders thrive on opportunities to connect in a meaningful conversation to foster a greater collaboration and diverse perspectives within their teams. The authentic leader has a sincere open mind to the wide range of generational views presented to them on a daily basis.

Working collaboratively always brings better results than working competitively. When people don’t work together to share results, the organization becomes more about self-interest which can potentially derail moral and performance in the long run.

Authentic leaders who have the courage to invite authentic dialogue are more effective. Of course, disagreements and conflicts are unavoidable in the process. But when you insist on a professional environment that reward and recognizes different point of views, everybody wins.

How can we use the power of authentic dialogue at work and in our personal lives?

"Dialogue and education for peace can help free our hearts from the impulse toward intolerance and the rejection of others." Daisaku Ikeda

Focus on what matters

As a leader it’s important to keep your team focused on what really matters. Are you engaging the conversations that invite insightful ideas to make things better? Are those conversations going anywhere or just chit chat? Intention is the key in this stage. You have to ask yourself, what is our intention and mission of our dialogue. In other words, “what are we trying to achieve together?”

Speak your heart and mind

When engaging in authentic dialogue, you need to have a servant heart. Authentic leaders must communicate in a genuine way that speaks from their heart. It’s about asking “how may I serve the people I am with”? This is where integrity comes into to play. You need to encourage honesty and real feedback from everyone. As you speak and communicate candidly, everyone will appreciate the source of your thoughts as they come from an authentic place of your heart and soul.

Listen together for insights and deeper questions

Another aspect of authentic dialogue that sometimes gets underestimated is the connection on a deeper level for understanding and reflection. As leaders we have to encourage an open dialogue that embraces a learning mindset for everyone. It means listening intently to other perspectives and reflecting deeply on everyone contribution. The question every leader should ask here is-“What am I going to learn today?” Let me sit back and ponder on what I am hearing today.”

Link and connect ideas

Last and not least is our ability as authentic leaders to connect the dots of ideas and create an environment where everyone point of view is part of the whole. We are a team of ideas. One person’s idea is never enough to take us to a higher level of collaboration and success. By connecting everyone’s idea, we take a further step toward collective leadership. It takes courage and humility to honor everyone's point of view because the power of authentic dialogue starts and ends when you respect others as human beings.

 "In true dialogue, both sides are willing to change."Thích Nhat Hanh